Logline: Two disillusioned friends on the wrong side of twenty-five own and operate a moderately successful lemonade stand in Brooklyn, New York.

You’ve been on one date in six months and that was with that red-headed Tonya Harding apologist you met at the zoo. I mean, come on... a red head.
It smells like bird in here.
We have a cockatiel, Beverly.
He wasn’t a Tonya Harding apologist. He just respected her competitive fire.

In terms of a concept, I always thought this was a fairly marketable script. Two New Yorkers in their late '20s being like, "Fuck this parade. I'm just going to take a break from life and start a lemonade stand?" That could be me in a week! I remember thinking that this could be an IFC show. Unfortunately, IFC didn't break into my computer, read the script, and send me an email with the subject "TV Show?"

The lesson, as always, is that life is unfair.

I haven’t seen you in like five years, Tag. I honestly thought you were dead.
I kinda was. I faked my death a bit back in 2013 due to a financial snafu with a, not to brag, pretty well-known fugitive.

Since I wrote this two or three years ago, I forgot about a lot of the characters, but rediscovering Tag was fun. I distinctly remember writing him with Ben Schwartz in mind, who I think is the funniest improviser I've ever seen perform live. Actually, going to random UCB shows is how I used to figure out a lot of my characters. The first original script I ever wrote, which was obviously terrible as most first scripts tend to be, was back in 2007 or 2008 and I remember basing two characters off of these two improvisers/comedians I'd see perform at the theater who I thought were the funniest human beings in the world: Aziz Ansari and Zach Woods. 

I have no idea what happened to them. I wish them well, though. Wherever they are.

I have. Last time I saw you, you were throwing-up on a dog house.
It was Canadian Thanksgiving, Corrine. I go real hard on our northern neighbor’s celebration of abundance.
I didn’t know you two were such art aficionados.
We’re not. All non-Magic Eye art is worthless. Are you two fucking?