LOGLINE: A dysfunctional family comedy centering on two disillusioned adults who move back to their hometown and attempt to stave off adulthood by forming a mixed doubles Olympic curling team. Together they vow to bring home the gold. Not for glory, not for honor, but to spite their mutual nemesis.

Devin
The jollies, kemosabe. The jollies. You may have been the big man on campus in high school, but I’m the one with the Olympic medal.
CARTER
Well, a bronze medal. Literally the worst medal a human being can win.
DEVIN
This medal, this symbol of freedom, may not mean a hill of beans to you, but to a buxom little fox named America...
CARTER
Gross.
DEVIN
...it means I’m the best in the world.
CARTER
Third best. At curling.

DEVIN
I swear on mom’s life that I did not introduce Donny to his new fiancé.
ALEX
Yes you did.
DEVIN
You’re right. But in my defense, you weren’t supposed to find out about it.

DOVE (O.S.)
Your show has a five percent rating on Rotten Tomatoes.
CARTER
Dove, if you don’t zip it, I will open- shoe punt you into the Great Lakes.
BOP
So like a sandal situation?
DOVE
Which Great Lake? And don’t you dare say Huron.
DEVIN
Hey, be nice to Dove. His ex-wife once dated Puck from Real World San Francisco.

NICKY
I don’t know why you’re giving up on your writing. You had a hit TV show for goodness sakes.
From his usual spot at the bar, GARY “DOVE” DUBINSKY (age unknown but locals believe somewhere between 40-80, chatty town drunk) chimes in with his two cents.
DOVE
“Hit” TV show? It lasted two episodes. Uproxx called it “too terrible to review so here’s a picture of a horse...”
CARTER
Shut up, Coach Dove. You’re not my gym teacher anymore. And at least I didn’t get fired for putting pornography in a time capsule, like a weirdo.
NICKY
Hey, be nice to Dove. He’s a rabies survivor.
DOVE
Three different times, baby. Raccoons are obsessed with me.
CARTER
I don’t like you, Dove.